Sarcastic Quote Journeral:

This is a collection of only the best sarcastic quotes around. None of these were made up by me unless its states that I made them up. If you know a good quote, email it to me and I'll try to add it, too many emails means it'll take a long time to add quotes though. So here starts this journeral with my favourites:

-English quote

>Spanish translation

-The world is round; it has no point.
>El mundo es redondo; no tiene un punto.

-Ugliness is superior to beauty; because it lasts.

-No one is a virgin; the world screws us all.
>Nadie es un virgen; el mundo tornillos todos.

-Stand with me; I want to be alone.
 

-Always remember you're unique; just like everyone else.
-Curiosity killed the cat; but for a while I was the suspect.

-Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask; "Where have I gone wrong?"
-Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

-I hold the key to world peace; but somebody changed the lock!

-Never take life seriously; nobody gets out alive anyways.

-If you can smile when things go wrong; you have someone in mind to blame.

-Roses are red,
-Violets are blue,
-Some poems rhyme,
-This one doesn't.

-It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

-A man is not complete until he is married... Then he's finished.

-I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.
-Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

-Every piece of paper has two good sides... Unless you use a marker pen, then you're fucked.

-I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel; then it turns out its some bastard with a torch handing me more shit.

-If practice makes perfect, and there is no such thing as perfect, why practice?
>Si practica hace perfecto y no hay tal cosa perfecto no existe; porque práctica?

-Roses are red violets are blue,
-sugar is sweet and so are you,
-but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
-the sugar bowls empty, and so is your head.

-I have great faith in fools; my friends call it self-confidence.

-Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

-Don't follow me; I'm lost too.

-It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

-I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

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